It's been quite a while since I did a bigger photo-post. This is because I've been trouble taking good photos with my good camera because it's so freaking dark here in Finland at winter. But I kind of gave up and took my little old camera and started snapping. I'll have to practice using the big camera too, but it's so... big to drag around. XD
Happy new year 2012! Fireworks from my dad's buildings roof. =)
Making the new-years-spells. XD
My bookshelve with my all-time-favourite books, my fairies and venetian mask... and my dvd-shelve with my favourite movies. And on the wall the incredibly awesome calendar by Nathie. ♥ (ordered from DeviantArt)
My "breakfast", haha! XD
Winter wonderland. The snow finally came ... and came and came and still has no stopped coming. XD
More wintery town views. ^_^
And more. I love this one's lighting ^__^
Meeting my idol, the presidential candidate Pekka Haavisto, KYAAAH!
There were 3 donkey's, a ram and a german shepherd at the marketplace. :O The white one was reallly angry! XD
All of them were just roaming there around, free! :D
They were really tame. "Hello there" XD
The angggry one. ;P (she tried to kick the dog! :O)
The year 2011 is past and over. It's time to do this little sum up. Feel free to copy if you feel like it. =) HAPPY YEAR 2012, may this be a better, happier and more fun year than the last one was. ^___^
1) What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I graduated from College, went on a therapy course, learnt helluvalot of the world, religions, history, physics, science... and many little things. =)
2) Did you keep your New Year Resolutions?
I don't remember making any. If I did, it must have been about my health and I feel I've improved that: mental health is getting better (or at least more clear where the problem is), I've lost weight and been exercising. ^_^
3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, more of my friends became mothers/fathers. And my stepsister gave birth to a beautiful, wonderful little girl Emilia. ♥
4) Did anyone close to you die?
Thank goodness not. ♥ Christopher Hitchens was a great loss.
5)What countries did you visit?
I visited Sweden; Stockholm twice, in the spring and in the fall. Both trips were wonderful. ^_^
6) What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More health, more exercise, more weight-loss, more happiness, more viking, more friends, more social life, more learning, more books, more good movies, even a little bit of work maybe.
7)What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
29th January - Emilia was born
31th May - I graduated as a media technology engineer
4th July - Gay Pride
8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating, finally! ♥ It took 7 years, haha! XD
9) What was your biggest failure?
Getting into a worse shape in the mental apartment... and not losing more weight. =P
10) Did you suffer illness of injury?
Well, the last answer sort of answers this one too... and there was the mess with the medication too. ^^;
11)What was the best thing you bought?
My new computer, I looove it! ^___^
(AMD Athlon 64 X2 Dual Core Processor 6000+, 3.00 GHz, 4.00 GB RAM, 64-bit Operating system, Win 7)
12)Where did most of your money go?
Bills, food, rent... and books, lots of good books. And some movies. ^_^
13) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Gay pride
- My new camera
- Movies: the Last Potter, Transformers 3 (which wasn't that good after all), Thor, Real Steel, Tintin...
- Various trips to Helsinki and Stockholm
- Game of Thrones series
- Many books
14)What song will always remind you of 2011?
Game of Thrones opening. (It's also my ringtone in my phone)
15) Compared to this time last year, are you...?
happier or sadder- Happier!
older or wiser- Both, definitely.
thinner or fatter- Thinner. ^_^
richer or poorer- The same.
16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Seen my friends, I miss them a lot. ♥
17) What do you wish you had done less of?
Panicking, being anxious, crying!
18) How did you spend Christmas?
With my family.
19) Did you fall in love in 2011?
Well, I sort of was that way when the year started so no ;D but then again, the feeling is getting stronger so yes. XD
20) What was your favorite TV program?
1) Game of thrones!
2) True Blood & Deadwood
3) Big Bang Theory & Primeval
21) What new did you learn in 2011?
I became a skeptic. I read tons of books about science, history, religion, evolution... and learnt so much that I have to write a completely new post about that stuff. ^_^ I learnt that a lot of things I've considered smart are in fact total bull. And learnt things I couldn't even dream of about the world around us, nothing otherwordly, just things that people don't think about but that are, in fact, incredible. ^_^
22) What was the best book you read?
Best... one? ONE? I can't choose one. :O Best ones though:
- Nomad - Ayaan Hirsi Ali
- Letting go of god - Julia Sweeney
- Why people believe in strange things - Michael Shermer
- 3096 days - Natascha Kambusch
- End of manners - Francesca Marciano
I also read all the Lily Bard Mysteries books (5), Aurora Teagarden Mysteries (8), Anita Blake vampire hunter books 1-11 and Harper Connelly Series (4) and some one-book books.
And I also re-read the Song of ice and fire books (4 first ones), Drizzt's adventures 1-4, Sookie Stackhouse books (12 books), Smoke and shadows books (3 books), Harry Potters (7 books), Liquor series (Poppy Z Brite)(3 books books), Nightrunner series (5 books), and Vampire Chronicles 1-2 and Blackwood farm.
23) What was your greatest musical discovery?
The year 2011 was a really poor year when it comes to music for me. I didn't really find any new music, listened to very little and my playlist consists of music I've been listening to for years. What I listen to when I have time: Audiobooks. ♥
24) What did you want and get?
I didn't even know how to wish for it but got and am in love with: my digital system camera! ^____^
+ tons of books and movies.
25) What did you want and not get?
Get healthy. ^^;
26) What as your favorite film of the year?
Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows part 2. ♥ (+ Black Swan, Thor, Tangled...)
27) What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?
I went to a dinner with my friends to a really fancy restaurant El Toro. Turned 31. ^_^
28) What kept you sane?
(Well, I'm not really sane, LOL, but in all reality:) Family, friends, books, drawing, taking photos, internet, my viking, my psychiatrist, the medication, sun, summer... ^_^
29) Tell a life lesson you learned.
There is SO much to learn, never think you know enough, keep on studying, reading, learning, the world is such an awesome, huge, wonderful place full of miracles. ^_^
30) What song lyric sums up your year?
Music, oh no, music cannot describe the year 2011 for me. But this can:
I've had a busy weekend. ^_^ On Friday I got to meet an old dear friend, visiting from Tampere. It was really good to see, it's been tooo long! ^__^
And on Saturday we had our long planned annual Helsinki winter trip with Ktiraam! =D The morning started with rain and wind. I was soaked when I got to the train station, but still, off we went. It was 10.20 when we arrived to Helsinki and an even worse weather waited for us there. We walked to Kukunor (movie/cartoon/poster store) first, it's about 15 minutes away from the train station. It was really windy and raining freezing cold water... and then the wind broke my umbrella. It wasn't worth much anyways, because the wind and rain seemed to come from all around, but at least it had kept my head and face dry. We had to wait for Kukunor to open for 5 more minutes, freezing in the cold water. It seemed like a much longer wait. ^^;
But once Kukunor opened, the rain was forgotten! I found two aaaawesome posters; "Howl's moving castle"-movie poster and "True Blood"-poster with the white background and red red lips. YAYY! I also had to buy a "Sponge Bob Square-pants" umbrella because it was another 15 minutes walk back. We got out to the wind and rain and one red light later my new umbrella was shattered in dozen pieces. I cursed. I felt so mad, but at the same time I felt a little "meh, what ever!"... this was a day that one... well, two broken umbrella's, freezing rain and even more freezing wind would not ruin. XD
We walked to Fennica Comics (comic/manga store), but found nothing interesting (and cheap enough) to buy and went to Kamppi (huge mall) to eat some pizza. The warm food felt sooo good. And sitting in a warm place felt nice too. Soon we had energy to continue our adventure, this time we went off to Fantasiapelit (comic/manga/book store) and Maarit found lots and lots of good manga (yaoi) to buy. From there we walked... again in the rain, to Akateeminen kirjakauppa (Academic bookstore), where I bought one story-collection book edited by George R R Martin and a biography by Stephen Fry. ♥
And then it was time to go to Tennispalatsi (a movie theater) to see Tintin! YAYY! We bought some snacks and drinks on the way and then just sat at the hallway, waiting for the movie to began, talking and reading our books/manga. =D And the movie was aaawesome! ^___^ After it ended, we were so tired that we went straight to the train station, bought some tea/hot chocolate and baguettes and waited for the train to go home.
At home I was so freaking tired I just wanted to sleep, but I just had to put the new posters on the wall before that. They look absolutely wonderful. ^___^
The next morning was less nice.
...Well, it all started on Tuesday already and has been going on since then. My heart has been racing like crazy, insanely fast. I wake up many times during the nights to it and I get these muscle cramps on my arms and chest area. I was so freaking worried about these symptoms that I visited a doctor on Sunday morning. They took an EKG and the doctor examined me: I was having a panic attack.
;_; and the cramps I was having: my muscles are so tight because of the panic attack that I could hardly move.
I was a little ashamed. And a LOT relieved that it wasn't anything serious. I had thought before that it must be just nerves, but who has a panic attack that lasts 5 days?!
Me, apparently. =(
I got strict rules to avoid stress, not do anything stressful, to exercise a lot, to stretch a lot and to rest a lot. And that's all I've been doing since yesterday morning. I've been sleeping for 12 hours/day too, so I guess the stress is finally resolving... in to sleep.
Last night was the first with no heart ache in almost a week. I stretched for an hour before going to sleep and did my relaxation exercises while falling asleep and slept 10 hour straight. OH it felt SO good! ♥ Now if only I could keep myself this relaxed... I have a meeting with the course (from hell!) leader this Wednesday and I am so freaking scared about it, I have no idea how I'm gonna handle it without falling apart completely.
But I'll try. Boy last week was rough. I hope this one will be better. ♥
I have a lot of serious subjects in mind to write on the blog, but for now, I just wanna relax and have some fun. My friend Serenity had a blog post about her favourite top 10 December stuffs and I think I need to make a list too, teehehehe. =P
This is gonna be slightly different, because I don't really celebrate the traditional kind of christmas (since I don't believe in god and that stuff), but still, there's yule, winter solstice and all those fun non-religion celebrations, so I celebrate my own kind of... thing. I don't mean just the one day as I talk about christmas here, to me that holiday is the whole last week of December. ^_^
Here's my December top #10 #1: Glögg (with rum)
It's yum! =P Haha. Especially with almonds and raisins. And as a plus side, it keeps you warm. And it's really yum. And it makes me remember the feeling I used to have when I was a kid and it was christmas. ^__^
#2: Knitting
It cold outside, you need mittens, woolen socks, big wool sweaters, blankets... and you can knit them yourself. And it's really fun to watch a good movie and knit. =D
#3: Books
Curling under the blanket into your warm bed with a good book on a cold winter day, ahhh, I love it. I always try to stack as much books as I can into my reading list during winter. I love reading. ^__^
#4: Disney & other (cartoon) movies
It's cold and dark outside, you put on a good movie and relax. And get happy, because some movies are just made of pure awesomeness and stuff! =D
#5: Irish coffee
1 part whiskey, 2-4 parts coffee, 2-3 spoons of brown sugar & lots of fresh/whipped cream. YUMMM! ♥ Warming, refreshing goodness.
#6: Sunny days
The winter sun is so freaking pretty. It's so cold and... rare! It's almost always dark here. And cold. But when it's sunny, you have to go out and just enjoy, it feels like a miracle every time. ^__^
#7: Christmas music
Okay, I don't celebrate christmas and I feel sick and tired of the buying frenzy people go into when it's this time of the year, but I love the soft, calm christmas music. It (too) takes me back to my childhood and just... relaxes. ^_^ (my favourite song is Heinillä härkien kaukalon, which is a religious song, but I don't care (I just ignore the words), I looove it either way, it is a song of christmas! XD)
#8: Family
Christmas/yule is a time to spend with family. And that is how I love to spend it. Of course there's not time to see everyone on christmas/yule, so I try to see everyone during December and to just spend some time together. ^_^
#9: Snow
White christmas/yule is... wäääh, something we might lack this year. Though the snow has come every year before christmas/yule, but I really hope we get snow before that this year too. I miss snow. It makes everything brighter. It's so so dark out now with no snow. =S
#10: Christmas/yule trip to Helsinki
With Ktiraam! It's a tradition already! This is, if I counted right, the 5th time we've done this trip! =D And it's the one day when we don't worry about anything, we just relax and shop and have so much fun! We visit all our favourite stores, look at manga and books and eat at our favourite places. It's a day that starts the holiday season for me... plus I buy all my own presents from that trip so it is like christmas, teehee! ♥ ^_^
On the weekend we had a really fun Halloween party at my friend Dino's. Here are a few photos taken from there. These are taken with my old camera because I still can't use the new camera's flash and it was too dark to take photos without a flash (finnish autumn, grr)
Skeleton dude. =3
A cool skeleton dude. XD
Our Halloween feast table.
Teppo's eyes. XP
The bathroom.
The bathroom and Teppo. XD
Glow-in-the-dark skull!
Dino, keeping a contest about movie/series/cartoon villains. ^_^
Yuki ^___^
On Sunday I was really tired. I spent half the night reading the aaawesome "Lily Bard Mysteries" (Charlaine Harris) and woke up tired. At night I visited dad and stepmom and came home, feeling just as tired. And really sad, moody... I felt horrible. I went to sleep early because I had the course early Monday morning. But could not sleep.
I tossed, turned and cried. I sat up, stared into the darkness and finally switched my computer back on. I needed something to do. I had a few things on my mind that I had to talk with my Viking and once I got those out off my chest, I felt a lot better (and once again cried like a river). I went back to bed and fell asleep soon.
I woke up in the morning, feeling like total shit. So down I felt like the earth should swallow me up. I had to fight it so I wouldn't cry constantly. Everything felt hopeless and gloomy. It didn't help the issue that my period starts in a few days, PMS is a bitch! ... and that my medication is still not working full blast and I don't know if it even suits me, these mood swings are really making me doubt it.
I sent a note to the course leader that I was not coming and stayed in bed until midday, reading.
My viking was coming later that day and he told me that he was coming soon, he was just gonna play one (computer)game. It took two hours, he forgot the time. I was preparing sushi for us and the feeling just got worse. I was crying and wanted to go to sleep. Then he finally came. We talked about stuff, I cried some more... and we ate sushi.
We opened a bottle of wine and watched Deadwood (♥) and I started to feel better. I got to snuggle and hug and kiss and hold. That was what I had been missing. I had been hopeless and feeling alone because we had not seen each other in two weeks. I felt abandoned and needed assurance that he still cared for me.
We went to sleep way too late, but when I woke up this morning I was feeling about 500 % better than the last morning. I was giggling and smiling. I have new energy. And kind of a new hope, we had some important things we discussed through and it feels a lot better after I've voiced them out. There are still issues, but maybe slowly things will work out.
Today I'm gonna load a new audiobook to my iPod (American gods), stuff myself with warm clothes and take a long walk in the sunny autumn day! ^___^ In Friday we're going to the movies with the course, gonna see Johnny English. XD
... And one of these days I'm gonna visit my viking at his home. ^__^/
There are some stories that you hear, watch or read, and you'll never be able to look at the world exactly the same before. The ones that awaken. I'd like to share some of the things that have done that to me and I'd love to hear more. We are all such a small part of this huuuge, wide world.
Here's my list. I added only books this time because I have such a bad memory I don't remember all my favourite documents by name and most of my favourite movies of this kind are made from my favourite books. I truly recommend all these books. These stories make you think, widen your horizon, teach about different cultures and make you feel such an awe for these people. None of them just gave up and surrendered to their destiny. They all fought for a better life and now we can read their stories. ♥
1)Sold by Zana Muhsen
A true story of a young British girl who was sold to be a wife of a boy she had never met to a country she had never been in(Yemen). 2)Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
A very eye-opening and thrilling true story of a Somali girl who was raised in a muslim culture and who escaped an arranged marriage and became a fighter for human rights 3) Slave by Mende Nazer
A true story of a Sudan girl who was taken from her village and sold as a slave. As incredible it seems, this happened just about 10 years ago. 4)The tears of my soul by Kim Hyun Hee
A true story of a North Korean girl who was trained to be an assassin 5) The white masai by Corinne Hoffmann
A true story of a young Swiss woman who traveled to Kenya, fell in love and moved to a Masai tribe. 6) 3,096 days by Natascha Kampusch
A true story of a German girl who was kidnapped as a child. And how she survived her captivity. 7)Only a daughter by Sarita Skagnes
A true story of a Indian girl who had the courage to fight the destiny and be more than just a daughter. 8)Wild Swans: Three daughters of China by Jung Chang
The history of China in the eyes of the women of three very different generations. 9-10)Kiterunner/Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaleid Hosseini
I had to add this one to the list though they're not true stories. The books are heart wrenching stories based on the reality of life in Afghanistan.
...And yeah, these stories show, that no matter where we are from, we're not that different. We all want freedom, human rights, love and peace.
I am getting my fourth book shelve tomorrow, the other three are so full I really need it. I have a few books, haha!
It's the second day of my new diet and exercise plan. It doesn't seem so difficult, but then again, I just started. I'm sure there are some difficult days ahead. I quit eating anything unhealthy (candy, ice-cream, chocolate, chips, fast food, cookies...). I check the calories, fat and sugar from everything I eat and I have "feeding times" when I have to eat.
And I've been exercising a lot too. I walk 1,5 hours every day, plus little walks around the city. At night I lift weights and stretch. This morning I woke up with so much energy I felt like I could run! Teehee ^___^ I visited the social-office and came home and started to organize my furniture. Now I have a whole new order here, where I don't have to sit on my bed all day. I have a table to sit in front of when I'm on the laptop or when I draw.
After I had organized the furniture, I went for a walk with my mom. We went to the beach and harbor and then to the grocery store. It was a bit of a torture to watch her buy ice-cream and talk about drinking wine tonight when all I get is apples and carrots, but: I'm gonna be fit after this and that's all that matters!
And with this new diet, I don't have to starve. The whole point is, that I don't feel hungry so I don't start munching anything unhealthy outside my meal-time-plan. =D I haven't set a weight where I want to get to, the point of this is to get healthier, drop my blood pressure and have more energy and so far it's working. ^_^ Of course I won't complain if I loose a few pounds doing this, because I know I've gained loads of unnecessary weight during this year. ^_^
Now back to organizing. Since I already started, I decided to re-organize my bookshelves... I have 3 of them, so full of books I have to give some up to make some room for new ones. XD
Today I feel excellent. ^___^
