On the weekend we had a really fun Halloween party at my friend Dino's. Here are a few photos taken from there. These are taken with my old camera because I still can't use the new camera's flash and it was too dark to take photos without a flash (finnish autumn, grr)
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| Skeleton dude. =3 |
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| A cool skeleton dude. XD |
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| Our Halloween feast table. |
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| Teppo's eyes. XP |
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| The bathroom. |
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| The bathroom and Teppo. XD |
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| Glow-in-the-dark skull! |
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| Dino, keeping a contest about movie/series/cartoon villains. ^_^ |
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| Yuki ^___^ |
On Sunday I was
really tired. I spent half the night reading the aaawesome "Lily Bard Mysteries" (Charlaine Harris) and woke up tired. At night I visited dad and stepmom and came home, feeling just as tired. And really sad, moody... I felt horrible. I went to sleep early because I had the course early Monday morning. But could not sleep.
I tossed, turned and cried. I sat up, stared into the darkness and finally switched my computer back on. I needed something to do. I had a few things on my mind that I had to talk with my Viking and once I got those out off my chest, I felt a lot better (and once again cried like a river). I went back to bed and fell asleep soon.
I woke up in the morning, feeling like total shit. So down I felt like the earth should swallow me up. I had to fight it so I wouldn't cry constantly. Everything felt hopeless and gloomy. It didn't help the issue that my period starts in a few days, PMS is a bitch! ... and that my medication is still not working full blast and I don't know if it even suits me, these mood swings are really making me doubt it.
I sent a note to the course leader that I was not coming and stayed in bed until midday, reading.
My viking was coming later that day and he told me that he was coming soon, he was just gonna play one (computer)game. It took two hours, he forgot the time. I was preparing sushi for us and the feeling just got worse. I was crying and wanted to go to sleep. Then he finally came. We talked about stuff, I cried some more... and we ate sushi.
We opened a bottle of wine and watched Deadwood (♥) and I started to feel better. I got to snuggle and hug and kiss and hold. That was what I had been missing. I had been hopeless and feeling alone because we had not seen each other in two weeks. I felt abandoned and needed assurance that he still cared for me.
We went to sleep way too late, but when I woke up this morning I was feeling about 500 % better than the last morning. I was giggling and smiling. I have new energy. And kind of a new hope, we had some important things we discussed through and it feels a lot better after I've voiced them out. There are still issues, but maybe slowly things will work out.
Today I'm gonna load a new audiobook to my iPod (American gods), stuff myself with warm clothes and take a long walk in the sunny autumn day! ^___^ In Friday we're going to the movies with the course, gonna see Johnny English. XD
... And one of these days I'm gonna visit my viking at his home. ^__^/
