Season of change

It was decision time, because I've been feeling like shit for the last few weeks. I've been taught to search for the reasons that make me feel bad and to solve them.

I did so with my viking (and told him about the things that were bothering me) and I think we're okay now. Better than okay. ♥ I visited him last weekend and saw his place, slept on the floor, cuddled him on his two old tv-chairs, showered in his shower, ate his food; all things I've never done before. ^___^ ♥

♥
Guess what inspired me to do this? ;D

And today I quit my course.

It's still unfinished, I have to talk to the leader of the course. And I have to arrange another meeting with my psychiatrist, because I really need it! But I told my "supervisors" at Lyhty (unemployment office branch for the depressed and long-unemployed and so on) that I was not going to go to the course anymore, and got an appointment there in two weeks time. They were so supportive I instantly feel better!

I've been crying all day (again!) but relief is slowly taking over. I didn't know how much stress and horrible feelings the course was making me feel. It ate all my energy. I just started to realize it last week, when I couldn't stop crying. The leader said then that I need intense therapy. But the course was not it, it was too much. I cannot handle acting with the other people there and... it was just making me feel worse.

But now it's over. Onward to new adventures I go. Tomorrow I'm gonna go look around, I want to order a new dancing-mat, the old one doesn't work with this new computer of mine. ^_^ And I am going to the gym, either today or tomorrow. I am definitely going to take a long walk with mom this afternoon, need to vent, harr! ^___^/