A little bit more politics: The True Finns didn't end up as the biggest party in the end. Only the third. Which means they cannot make decisions by themselves, but with two other parties. I'm still worried, but less now. The thing is that some of the True Finns are big jerks, racists and chauvinists, but it cannot be helped, they have been chosen now.
Then to other things:
I've been incredibly down lately, so I made a decision to take a bigger dose of my mood medication. I got a permission from my doctor when I went to discuss about my blood pressure. I still have to observe the blood pressure and if it goes incredibly high, something has to be done. Sigh.
I hate this. I hate being depressed, because I want to be happy, I want to laugh and enjoy spring. But at the same time it feels like I'm being sucked into a deep, dark hole with no hope. School ending and graduating seems scary and for some reason I've been feeling like my life is over. That this was it, and I've accomplished absolutely nothing. I have nothing to show for my life.
I feel like crying all the time and randomly burst out in tears. And I feel so damn tired. I want to cheer up. Tomorrow I'm going to the lab to get some blood works, they are checking my sugar levels. And now I'm really scared that maybe I have a wayyy too high sugar levels. Well, tomorrow will tell.
I'll try to cheer up. I hate being mopy, it feels like I'm sucking all the happiness from around me and that's why I don't really want to see anyone. I don't want to fake laugh and fake smile and pretend to be happy, I don't have the energy for it. Wooooop, don't I sound so positive, haha. X3
Really, I just need to be and rest and wait till this passes and life can smile again. I know it does, eventually.
Then to other things:
I've been incredibly down lately, so I made a decision to take a bigger dose of my mood medication. I got a permission from my doctor when I went to discuss about my blood pressure. I still have to observe the blood pressure and if it goes incredibly high, something has to be done. Sigh.
I hate this. I hate being depressed, because I want to be happy, I want to laugh and enjoy spring. But at the same time it feels like I'm being sucked into a deep, dark hole with no hope. School ending and graduating seems scary and for some reason I've been feeling like my life is over. That this was it, and I've accomplished absolutely nothing. I have nothing to show for my life.
I feel like crying all the time and randomly burst out in tears. And I feel so damn tired. I want to cheer up. Tomorrow I'm going to the lab to get some blood works, they are checking my sugar levels. And now I'm really scared that maybe I have a wayyy too high sugar levels. Well, tomorrow will tell.
I'll try to cheer up. I hate being mopy, it feels like I'm sucking all the happiness from around me and that's why I don't really want to see anyone. I don't want to fake laugh and fake smile and pretend to be happy, I don't have the energy for it. Wooooop, don't I sound so positive, haha. X3
Really, I just need to be and rest and wait till this passes and life can smile again. I know it does, eventually.
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